In the first cover story of 2022, PW brings actionable goals-setting advice from a panel of reputed psychologists, nutritionists, parenting and lifestyle coaches to improve overall family health and well-being, writes Aurelin Ruth, Cynthia John & Mini P.
The recently concluded year 2021 was transformed into an annus horribilis by the devastating Covid-19 pandemic which has officially claimed 485,000 lives countrywide and unofficially almost 5 million. In particular, the second wave of the pandemic which peaked last April-July destroyed lives and livelihoods on an unprecedented scale, forcing millions of parents and children to work and learn from home, best as they could.
Unfortunately, the pandemic is not over. Omicron, a new variant of the novel Coronavirus, detected last November in South Africa, is spreading wildly in India and across the world. Therefore New Year 2022 celebrations were sombre and tentative. But the initial good news is that the Omicron variant is likely to be less lethal with medical experts predicting this third wave of the pandemic will flatten quickly.
Nevertheless, onset of the New Year is traditionally a time for optimism and New Year Resolutions, even for forcibly domiciled, besieged families. In this pandemic era expert opinion recommends setting household en famille goals for health and well-being, academics, finance, and relationships building. Though traditionally, New Year resolutions are associated with individual goalssetting, to transform these worst of times into better, lifestyle gurus and parent counsellors recommend collective family resolutions and goals setting.
“Being goal-oriented is like having a sense of direction in life. Where do you hope to go? What are you doing to get there? These kinds of questions are important for everyone. Therefore it’s important to set family goals together — and also help young people set and work toward their own goals in life. Goals setting can be particularly significant for teenagers, who are sorting out who they are and their place in the world,” says an essay published on www.searchinstitute.org (USA).
In the first cover story of 2022, PW brings actionable goals-setting advice from a panel of reputed psychologists, nutritionists, parenting and lifestyle coaches to improve overall family health and well-being.
Getting started
“The past pandemic year has been challenging for most families as they coped with the stress of lockdowns, parents working and children learning, from home. The start of 2022 is a good occasion to reflect on the past year’s learnings and set new directions and goals for the year ahead. This serves the important purpose of connecting all family members towards common goals and realising positive change,” says Rajat Soni, a Mumbai-based parenting coach and positive discipline educator.
Brainstorming. To get the family goalsetting process started, Soni recommends convening a meeting of all family members and encouraging everyone to share their dreams and desires for self and the family. What are their prime aspirations for this year for themselves and the family unit? “Record all resolutions and ideas in a notebook. After that, brainstorm on ways and means to make these goals work for the benefit of the entire household,” advises Soni.
Accountability. Once goals have been set, follow up on them, and hold each other accountable. Designate a family member to remind others about fulfilling collective resolutions.
Be persistent. New Year resolutions are usually broken within a month. According to several research studies, only 8-12 percent of individuals keep their New Year resolutions. Therefore, parents should be prepared to push the reset button and work hard at achieving family goals. If some goals need to be modified due to changed external circumstances, reprioritise them through consensus.
Celebrate success. If your family has achieved 80 percent of its goals, quarterly celebrations with a special treat are recommended. “Congratulate and motivate each other to stay on course,” says Soni. Although by all indications the worst of the deadliest pandemic of the past century is over, with the Omicron variant of the virus still spreading countrywide, 2022 is likely to prove a year of regrouping and reconstruction under five basic heads — health and nutrition, family bonding, financial planning, good habits and fitness — to place households back on track.
Health & nutrition
Dr. Trupti Anandnath K
Dr. Trupti Anandnath K, nutritionist at Well-Being, a Bengaluru-based nutrition firm, suggests setting three goals to ensure family health and well-being.
1. Don’t skip breakfast. Breakfast is the main meal of the day and essential to kickstart the body’s metabolism. Traditional Indian breakfasts of chapatti, puri, idli, dosa are excellent sources of nonrefined carbohydrates that provide young children a continuous source of energy through the day. If preparing these meals is onerous, opt for broken wheat, rice or ragi porridge. Add milk, sugar, dry fruits and nuts. Chickpeas and soya chunks are also good alternatives. For non-vegetarians, an egg a day is an excellent breakfast meal providing 12 gm of protein. Also include amla, carrot or spinach juice in the vitally important morning breakfast.
2. Eat meals mindfully. Mindful ingestion prevents overeating, improves digestion, resulting in better absorption of micronutrients. Proscribe TV/gadget dinners and encourage children to eat each meal with gratitude and attention.
3. Plan balanced meals. Ensure that all meals are balanced and comprise foods rich in carbohydrates, proteins, fats, vitamins and minerals. Insist on including green vegetables and fruit in the daily family diet.
Family bonding
In 2021, when parents were forced to work and children to learn from home for 60-70 weeks, inevitably, family harmony suffered with familiarity breeding contempt, if not aversion. Therefore, Jayalakshmi Vaidyanathan, a Bengaluru-based social and emotional learning facilitator and trainer, recommends according priority to mending family ties and relationships. Her advice:
• Ensure en famille dinners every day without gadgets, television or other distractions
• Parents should hold one-on-one conversations with every family member at least once a fortnight.
• Plan a monthly family picnic/outing.
“Spending quality time with children should be the top priority of parents as it’s the prerequisite of nurturing emotionally balanced and confident young adults. The New Year should be a period of bonding and free-wheeling discussions about individual and family problems. Make time to play games, motivate and counsel each other. Travel and adventure should also be family activities. They don’t have to be expensive or elaborate. Visits to public parks, and drives to farm/picnic spots are great family bonding activities,” says Vaidyanathan.
Financial planning
With the pandemic having upset most household budgets, it’s important to draw up new budgets and manage family finances prudently. Involve children in financial planning decisions. They provide children a great opportunity to learn about the importance of savings and prudent investment.
Srikala Bhashyam, a Bengaluru-based finance writer and investment consultant, offers some pointers for household financial planning in the year ahead.
• Draw up a formal monthly family budget making provision for school/college admissions/tuition fees, travel, special celebrations, etc.
• Plan finance for each milestone in your child’s life. School and college expenses, sports classes, for instance. Online inflation calculator tools are very useful for estimating these expenses.
• Agree on percentage of income of both parents which needs to be saved for children’s education, home-buying/ loans, family holiday, and other necessary expenses.
• Make provision for insurance, SIP, children’s and/or other mutual funds.
“It’s important for parents to set investment goals and provide financial security to the family with the involvement of children in financial planning and decision-making. This is good education for them to get to understand the relationship between earning, spending and saving. Parents can do this by inserting the importance of budgeting, spending and saving into daily conversations and activities such as grocery shopping. Similarly if parents are investing money for their children in equities or mutual funds, they should discuss the ups and downs of the stockmarket over the dinner table and in family conversations,” advises Bhashyam.
Resolve to practice good habits
For several years self-improvement gurus including bestselling author Stephen R. Covey (Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) have highlighted that good, transformational habits are critical to success in careers and life. The start of 2022 is a good time for families to resolve to develop good habits and enabling routines.
“Good habits and routines are the key to domestic harmony and improving the quality of family life. Once habits are learned, practised and absorbed, they become routine. For instance the habit of brushing teeth, which we initially learned, through a series of steps that required significant concentration and time, becomes routine over a period of time,” says Jayalakshmi Vaidyanathan, a Bengaluru-based social and emotional learning trainer.
Breaking self-injurious bad habits and resolving to adopt new ones which benefit the family is not an easy proposition. Vaidyanathan suggests:
1. Resolution and persistence. For example, parents can inculcate the habit of turning off all electronic gadgets during study and meal times, leading by example.
2. Negotiate good habits that benefit all members of the household and extract commitment to practice. For children especially, motivation and supervision is required.
3. Start small and encourage continuity of good habits. Praise and reward children’s commitment to practising new habits and routines.
4. Set an example by working on developing a new habit together with the child.
Setting physical fitness goals The past year of lockdowns, business and prolonged schools closure have resulted in reduced physical activity and exercise for children and adults. In 2022, daily exercise and physical activity should be a top priority of all families.
Monojit Ghosh, a former national gymnast and currently fitness trainer and gymnastics coach at Art Corner Gymnastics Academy, Bengaluru, advises families to resolve to maintain fitness through at least one 30-60 minutes of structured physical exercise regimen per day or playing formal sports and games. “All family members should build body immunity through physical exercise and healthy nutritious family diet. Exercise boosts blood circulation, reduces mental stress, strengthens immune cells, flushes germs out of the lungs and airways, increases body temperature to fight infections and releases endorphins which strengthen the body’s immune system. In addition to regular exercise, avoid junk and processed food and increase intake of fruits, vegetables and whole grains. Make family health and fitness a top priority goal of 2022,” advises Ghosh.
Goals wheel
To make 2022 a better year, parenting educator and coach Rajat Soni recommends drawing a Goals Wheel. Draw a circle and divide it into four segments. Each segment delineates each family member’s personal and family goal.
Connection Goals. Resolve to set a day and time for a family meeting every week/fortnight. It could be over a family dinner.
Health Goals. This segment could specify 20 minutes meditation, new exercise regimen, a no gadget 30 minutes per day and mandate 30 minutes for offline creative pursuits.
Adventure Goals. It could specify and monitor every member’s saving for a holiday, road trip or adventure sports.
Community Goals. This segment could set time/ money targets for each family member to contribute time or money to an NGO or volunteer organisation. “Inevitably, Goals Wheels will vary from household to household. But for it to be meaningful and actionable it must be designed to be SMART — specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, time bound,” says Soni.
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