I am a parent of a three-year-old who is overwhelmed by the infodemic around me. How do I stay well-informed about the pandemic while keeping anxiety in check? I am so nervous and scared all the time that I fear I’m passing my anxiety on to my child and husband.
— Shalini K, Chennai
Most adults and children worldwide are experiencing anxiety, stress and loneliness because of the pandemic. It’s important to remember that it is okay to feel this way and that these difficult feelings will pass. However if you believe they are overwhelming you and affecting your parenting, here are some simple ways to improve your mental health and well-being.
- Stay connected with people. Make an effort to communicate with people you trust. This will reassure you and improve your mental well-being.
- Express your fears. It’s normal to feel worried, scared, and helpless about the current pandemic situation. Share your fears with adults you trust, taking care not to express them before children.
- Be well-informed. As the pandemic outbreak continues, you should be well-informed about changes in government guidelines, so you are prepared to cope with changes in daily routines. It will reduce anxiety and make you feel more in control of your life.
- Stick to the facts. Find a credible media source and always fact-check information you get from newsfeeds, social media, and people.
- Focus on things you can control, such as your behaviour, who you speak to, and where and how often you get information.
My son is in class XII and it looks like this year too will be a year of remote online schooling. He is also studying for his IIT-JEE entrance exam. With no end to the pandemic in sight, he is demotivated and anxious about his future. Please advise.
— Pradeepa Jairaj, Delhi
Explain to him that these are unprecedented times and that he must keep his motivation levels high. You could help him by:
- Exploring careers that interest him. And discuss and research ways and means by which he can achieve his career and life goals.
- Help him set daily achievable academic goals. Aim for five daily to-dos.
- Encourage him to take short breaks during study hours.
- Advise him to ask a friend to be a study buddy. Peer learning and mentoring is a good way to motivate children.
Will talking about Covid-19 increase my child’s anxiety about the virus? The reason I ask is that recently, three members of my extended family died due to Covid-19 complications and it was a traumatic experience for all of us.
— Dheeralakshmi, Coimbatore
I’m sorry to hear about your loss. It’s always best to speak about difficult emotions bearing in mind your child’s age and maturity. My advice:
- Use age-appropriate language. Keep the communication clear and allow your child to ask questions.
- Use words ‘died’, ‘dead’, and ‘death’. Euphemisms such as ‘we’ve lost Grandpa’ or ‘Grandma has gone to another place’ are confusing for children.
- Keep children informed about illness of family members and close friends
- Answer questions openly and accurately. If you feel the answer is too difficult for them to hear, explain that honestly.
- Repeat explanations more than once.
- Reassure them that they are not to blame for a family member’s illness or death.
- Allow and encourage children to share emotions including fears and anxieties.
(Sue Atkins is a UK-based internationally recognised parenting expert, broadcaster, speaker and author of Parenting Made Easy — How to Raise Happy Children (2012))