Parental Counsel

Ask your 1-to-1-help.net counsellors1to1Help.net CounsellorsI would like to send my son to a summer camp where he learns something. But with many summer camp programmes advertised these days, I‚m confused. How do I choose the right summer camp for my child?Reena David, BangaloreWith the commencement of the summer holiday, camps and classes are attracting children in large numbers. Camp experience could make a significant impact on your child‚s life. Therefore it‚s important for parents to carefully choose a suitable camp. Many parents choose a camp regardless of children‚s needs and desires. In other cases, children are sent to a camp on the recommendation of friends. But very often such referrals prove inadvisable. Here are some of the things that you should keep in mind while selecting a camp for your son. Ascertain what you and your son expect of a summer camp. Regardless of the age of your child, it is important that the camp meets the needs, interests, goals, and expectations of parents and child. Parents must make an effort to understand what children want and why. Does your son want to learn new skills, or develop more self-confidence, improve proficiency in certain areas, become more independent? These aspirations must be considered while choosing a summer camp destination. Type of camp. Summer camps and classes promise to provide a wide range of activities for children ‚ painting, sculpting, rock climbing, swimming etc. Parents often enroll their children into such high-promising camps with the expectation that children will learn everything within a short span of time. Such great expectations are unrealistic. If there are too many activities, your son may become confused and lose interest in the camp itself. Thus, it is important to select a camp which offers at most one or two activities of your child‚s interest. Another important point to bear in mind is the type of camp your child is attending. It could be a daily classes kind of camp without night stay. The other kind of summer camp is the sleep over type which involves a stay for a number of days. Make the choice of summer camp wisely taking into account how well your son will be able to adjust if it‚s a long duration camp. Whichever camp you and your child choose it is important to be conscious about the safety and security of your child. Make it a point to check out the organisers and facilitators of the camp. Check if they have the skills, expertise and experience to manage children. Also check out the hygiene and sanitation arrangements. Checking these aspects before deciding will make your child‚s summer camp experience memorable. Cost. This is another important consideration while choosing a camp, because prices vary widely. Always agree on the budget before choosing a particular summer camp. This will give you a clear idea about the expense involved and eliminate last minute cancellation or tension.Size of camp. Check out the number of children attending the chosen camp. Usually summer camps take 100-150 children and day camps enroll 50-60 children in several batches. Smaller camps tend to offer more personalised supervision and assistance.I have a teenage daughter and used to share a close relationship with her. But since I work long hours we are growing apart. Please advise me on ways I can spend quality time with her.Deebanshu Ghosh, DelhiYou are obviously feeling guilty about being uninvolved in your daughter‚s life and that you no longer share a warm and loving relationship with her because of your busy work schedule. It‚s commendable that you want to amend the situation and wish to continue to provide her emotional support. This is a common complaint of hard-working parents. Though this is a growing problem, research has demonstrated that caring, involved fathers are beneficial to the health, education and welfare of girl children. Daughters who are close to their fathers tend to be self-confident and self-reliant, willing to accept challenges later in life. Such daughters experience good mental health, don‚t suffer depression, eating disorders or anxiety. They are also more comfortable and appropriate in expressing anger.Here are some of the things that you could do together with your daughter: ‚ Be fully ‚Ëœpresent‚ and attentive to her at home‚ Don‚t take office work home ‚ Watch television together, even if it‚s MTV‚ Make it a point to have dinner with your family. This way you all can talk about the day‚s events. Your daughter will feel that in spite of your busy schedule you are interested in learning about what‚s going on in her life‚ Play games like badminton, frisbee etc with your daughter. If she is an indoor person you could play monopoly, pictionary or any other game which she enjoys‚ Your wife could provide you with another perspective on what your daughter wants and will remind you of the commitments you made to both of them. You can compare notes, ask her for feedback. With your wife‚s active help you can establish a loving relationship with your daughterIts important to remember that building a loving relationship requires effort on your part. Take the initiative and responsibility to restore and rebuild your relationship. You‚ll find the effort will be emotionally satisfying and worthwhile.(Archana Bisht, Antara Sen & Karuna Baskar are counsellors at 1to1help.net, Bangalore. www.1to1help.net)