Talking to teens about sex

Advice for parents on when, how, what to say and why it’s so important The “birds and the bees”. The “facts of life”. Whatever you call it, most parents dread discussing sex and sexuality with their teens. They tend to be embarrassed, worried that they don’t understand some concepts. In some countries, cultural norms dictate that it’s inappropriate for adults and adolescents to talk about sex. However, these conversations are necessary. A large body of research indicates that teens who openly discuss sex and sexuality with their parents reduce risky sexual behaviour, leading to improved reproductive health. It’s also important to remember that this won’t be a one-off discussion. Adolescents undergo constant development, facing new questions and challenges as they grow. Continuous dialogue enables parents to provide ongoing guidance, address emerging concerns, and reinforce values over time. It also fosters an atmosphere of trust and openness. I’m a public health researcher who studies adolescent sexuality, sexual and reproductive health. Based on my research, as well as on frequent interaction with teenagers and their parents, I’ve put together this guide to address parents’ common questions and concerns. I hope this advice will help you to engage your teens in open, honest and helpful dialogues about sex and sexuality. When should I start talking to my kids about sex and sexuality? There’s no universally “right” age to start discussing sex and sexuality with your children. However, I’d suggest that you initiate discussions about body parts and puberty before your kids are ten. Conversations specifically about sex and sexuality can begin around age ten. No matter your teens’ age, it is important for parents to create a safe space for these discussions by letting your teens know they are not being judged, and that everything they say is confidential. Family dynamics differ in every household. Sometimes teenagers trust or are more comfortable with one parent than the other. However, both parents should be on the same page to avoid giving contradictory messages to their teens. In a two-parent household, it is beneficial to have both parents involved in discussing sexuality education with their teen, but it is not necessary to always do it together. A combination of individual and joint conversations can be effective. What sorts of topics fall under the umbrella of sex and sexuality? Some important topics parents can discuss with their teenagers include: How the reproductive system functions Building healthy relationships — the importance of consent, communication, mutual understanding and boundaries The physical and emotional changes that occur during puberty How to maintain good sexual health practices and hygiene. According to my religion or culture, it’s not appropriate to discuss these topics with my children. Many parents have their own misconceptions and biases about sex, often rooted in religious or cultural beliefs. But the reality is that avoiding discussions about sex does not stop teenagers from engaging in sexual activities or seeking information from other sources. Studies have shown that “parent-child communication is strongly associated with a child’s safer sex…