It’s the duty of all parents to lead by example and also teach their children to communicate with autistic children with sensitivity and empathy writes Ritu Jain

Does your child have a sibling, neighbour, classmate, or play buddy who is diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD)? If yes, your child may be reporting difficulty in communicating with her. Before you educate and teach her about communicating with children with ASD, you need to understand this disorder. Herein is a short guide to ASD.

Autism spectrum disorder is a development disability which affects an individual’s social and interpersonal interactions. Some common signs and symptoms are:

• Children with ASD don’t like to participate in group activities and/or show disinterest. They are also unable to decode non-verbal signals. For instance, if you smile or grimace, they will not respond.
• Sensory issues also pose problems as many autistic children cannot tolerate high noise levels.
• Children with ASD perform repetitive movements such as flapping their hands or spinning and become irritated or frustrated by minor changes in their daily routine.
• Their language skills are not fully developed and most of the time it is hard for them to follow instructions. They can’t speak in complete sentences and/or repeat words or phrases. They may also speak in a flat voice or monotone and have no sense of humour or sarcasm.
• Hyperactivity, temper issues, and aggression are also common symptoms.
• They may avoid eye contact while interacting with others.

Therefore, social interaction is a challenge for children with ASD because they are unable to control/manage their emotions. In the circumstances it’s the duty of all parents to lead by example and teach their children to communicate with autistic children with sensitivity and empathy. Here are some guidelines.

Show them love. Children with ASD find it difficult to express their emotions. However, they need love and care. Try your best to show interest, concern, and support.

Address them by name. To let them know you are speaking to them, start every conversation with their name. Also before starting any conversation, answering, or questioning them, ensure they are paying attention.

Keep conversations short. It’s challenging for a child with autism to filter out irrelevant information. She will skip important and relevant points if the conversation is too long.

Be patient. Children with ASD take time to process information. Make an effort to speak slowly. Pause between words, allowing them the opportunity to understand and process information. Wait for them to respond before starting the next sentence.

Clear communication. Be direct, concise, and straightforward in your communication. Avoid using slang, nuance, or sarcasm. Autistic children find such communication complex and difficult to understand.

Limit use of “no”. People with autism may be confused by your refusal. Instead of saying ‘no’ try to reschedule the canceled activity to a later day or week. Use a different word/symbol than refusal.

Be empathetic and respectful. Some children with ASD like to be hugged much more frequently than normal children. However, some don’t want to be touched at all, and even minimal contact could make them uncomfortable. Be sensitive to their willingness to be touched. More important, be positive and calm during interactions with them.

(Ritu Jain is founder of Solicitude Parenting, Bangalore, and parenting advisor for children with autism, ADHD and developmental delays)