Coping with sleep deprivation

(Sue Atkins is a UK-based internationally recognised parenting expert, broadcaster, speaker and author of Parenting Made Easy — How to Raise Happy Children (2012)) For the past few months, my 13-year-old daughter is having a hard time falling asleep. We have tried many sleep inducing palliatives such as playing quiet music, reading books, no TV or  computer after dinner and adding extra exercise to her lifestyle. Persistent lack of sleep is making her very tired in school and prone to fatigue. Do you have any suggestions to improve her sleep or should I schedule an appointment with a doctor? — Rishita Patel, Mumbai Adequate sleep is critical for children’s physical growth, mental well-being, concentration and productivity. I wonder whether awareness that sleep is necessary and important is adding to her anxiety and making her try too hard to sleep. I suggest that you reduce all talk and pressure about the importance of good sleep. Encourage her to meditate and/or listen to a meditation app to relax her mind and body. Research has shown counting backwards from 100 in multiples of three helps to de-stress and focus the mind. Encourage her to jot down her anxieties and fears on a piece of paper so they are out of her head before bedtime. But if your daughter can’t fall asleep 30 minutes after lying in bed, she should wake up and focus on another activity because she is conditioning her body to lie in bed and not sleep. If her sleep deprivation continues, you should consult a sleep specialist. With still no signs of schools reopening, it’s becoming very difficult to keep my six-year-old daughter engaged at home. A few days ago I had enrolled her in a badminton coaching class. But now with the surge in Covid-19 cases the classes have stopped. She is very disappointed and refuses to accept my explanation. Please advise. — Nitya Menon, Bengaluru These are difficult and challenging times for youngest children as they learn to adapt to continuous changes and uncertainties precipitated by the Covid pandemic. It’s obvious that your daughter loves her badminton coaching and is disappointed. You need to calmly, clearly and confidently explain the reasons why the coaching has been postponed. Explain to her that coaching classes are merely postponed to another date, not cancelled completely. Also make an effort to engage her in enjoyable play activities at home. Almost every time my daughter goes outdoors to play with friends, she tends to get into a fight, and returns home crying. She is eight years old. Help! — Rima Sen, Gurgaon Playing with peers and friendship skills can be taught to children. Clearly explain to your daughter what good friends do — they are kind to one another, use polite language, share and help out when a friend is sad or has a problem. There are so many amazing friendships portrayed in children’s books, so read stories around friendship and discuss the characteristics of a good friend — being helpful, thoughtful, supportive, generous,…