“Don’t try to fix everything”
Paromita Sengupta interviewed Kolkata-based banker-turned-model and single parent Chumki Sharma on balancing an action-packed career and raising her mildly autistic son Sahil. Kolkata-based Chumki Sharma is a banker (HDFC Bank), fashion model, single mother and accomplished poet. In 2018 she was crowned Ms. India Queen of Substance and Ms. United Nations Globe in the ‘single woman category for married women’ staged in New Delhi and Kingston (Jamaica) respectively, Her anthology of poems Shape of Emptiness was published in 2017 by Australian Vine Leaves Publications. What is your parenting philosophy? Many successful professional women are inclined to say, “but of course my children come first” or “first and foremost, I’m a mother”. But I have always believed that while being a mother is very important, there are other roles and responsibilities that are as important. I have faced many parenting challenges as a single mother, but with my family’s rock solid support and satisfaction of pursuing a fulfilling career, motherhood has never been a disadvantage. Rather, it has been a milestone. Motherhood has helped me understand myself better and made me a more compassionate human being which has played a vital role in my creative breakthroughs at work. In my opinion, a working mother is better equipped to share a positive world view with her children. You are a fashion model and beauty pageant winner. How do you balance your work at the bank, modeling career with responsibilities at home? Balancing my responsibilities at home, working a 9-5 job at a leading private bank and winning two major pageant titles has undeniably been more than I bargained for. Yet despite the many challenges, I have had a fulfilling life. I believe when you love what you do, everything else falls in place. What challenges have you faced while raising your son Sahil who is a special needs child? During his formative years, I spent a lot of time searching for an appropriate school for him. There weren’t many inclusive schools in Kolkata those days. His first experience at St. Sebastian wasn’t great and Sahil increasingly felt out of place. Later Sahil was admitted into the Heritage School, Ruby Park, Kolkata, after a tough interview. Heritage is a mainstream school. But with a special section for special needs children. It proved to be a turning point in our lives. I am deeply grateful to his teachers for their support and for enabling Sahil to blossom into a well-adjusted child. Today I am the proud mother of a college-going son enrolled in a mainstream bachelor of science (media studies) degree programme at the Heritage Academy, Kolkata. Parenting has become more complex than ever before in urban India. How do you cope with its many challenges? Academic and peer pressure and excessive time spent on social media are common concerns of 21st century parents. With family structures breaking down from joint and nuclear to single parenthood, juggling between work and home makes it very difficult for young parents to constantly monitor their children. Multiple…