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Effective ParentingParenting is one of the most tedious task in today’s demanding ever-changing world. It is becoming all the more difficult for us as parents to keep pace with our growing, smart and aware kids. As kids I remember my mother being always worried about how ignorant I was about my surroundings and it goes without saying that the whole situation has taken a U-turn.

Today the precarious times have threatened us in many ways so our impending need to turn these ominous times into propitious ones all the suggestions seem welcoming. Few of them are:

 

Become Good Listeners:

As parents, we sometimes unknowingly ignore what our child wants to convey to us. The message can be verbal or non-verbal. We can judge the gravity of the situation only by paying attention and listening.  It is through these incoherent talks, that we are able to gauge the likes and dislikes, their talents and also their feelings.

Become Role Models

Our kids are what we show them to be. We are always worried about our kids learning something unpleasant but what we fail to acknowledge is the fact that we are the primary teachers for our toddlers. They tend to learn from us, “Good” or “bad”. The kids are curious by nature. They try and imitate sometimes in front of us and sometimes in front of others creating a difficult situation for us.

Be Appreciative

It is human tendency to get noticed or get appreciated and they are just the little ones. A slight motivation would allow them to try for bigger and better goals. A hint of acknowledging their efforts would set a spark in them to put in their best of efforts.

Spend Quality Time

This point should definitely top the list however agreeing to the time crunches faced by us in today’s world, this would be a sight of relief. Just spending time is totally different to spending quality time with your kids. Being with them and doing your work cannot be termed as spending time with them. Try to spend some time where they control your activities. Play with them, laugh with them and above all listen to them.

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Set a Well-Planned time table for them.

It has gone crucial for us as parents to set a decent time table for our kids where they get ample time for their day to day activities, play time and most importantly proper sleep. Sleep plays a dominant role in development (both physical and mental) of a child and they should not be deprived of the same.

Discipline

You as a parent, as their teacher or as their well-wishers have to teach them to be disciplined. Remember success will knock at your door only if you are disciplined and consistent with your efforts. Animosity towards their behavior would beckon for an unruly, undisciplined child. Set the rules and see to it that they are followed. “No using mobile while on dinner table”, “No TV until homework is completed” or “a limited screen time” are few such examples. Rules once made should be adhered to. It will instill in them a sense that rules cannot be taken for granted. 

Recommended: Attachment parenting and its psychological benefits

A Helping Hand

Refrain from providing a helping hand too quickly. As pointed out earlier, children are curious by nature. Allow them to explore the ways and methods to complete a task. Once they do it on their own, their faces would tell the success story. Don’t forget to praise them for the same.

Don’t scold when they make mistakes

Making mistakes is human. We as adults also make mistakes and some of them are pretty grievous as well. Believing that not scolding is well said than done. But if they don’t make mistakes, they’ll not learn. And if they are already shouted upon for making a mistake, they’ll probably not even try doing something new or different. Finding what went wrong will lead them to different solutions of the same problem. But yes as adults it is our duty to guide them well.

Child safetyNever Self Criticize

Never criticize yourself for being inefficient or providing insufficiently to your kids. You are the best in what you are doing. Times today are overwhelming for both the parents. As parents we have to cater to the needs of our home as well as our professional life. Meeting deadlines, making presentations, making calls, crucial decisions and what not. Parenting in today’s time is far more difficult than it used to be. Try not to get overwhelmed with other peoples’ parenting skills. Their conditions, their circumstances and their living standards can be different to yours. 

Knowing that our love for our kids is unconditional so just believe in yourself and make the best possible use of your conditions. Try and maintain an equilibrium between your work life and your life as a parent. Your work definitely would yield you the name, fame, wealth etc. but the 24-hour parenting job would yield you the most promising and fulfilling rewards which would be incomparable to any materialistic gain. So, my advice would be to venture out, learn and un-learn few things. Happy Parenting!!

The above article is authored by Dr. Pooja Singh, Joint Director, St Edmund’s School, Jaipur

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