– Dr. Sujata Singhi, founder of MERT (Music and Emotion Release Therapies), motivational and keynote speaker, certified life and transformation coach, Richard Bandler licensed NLP coach and trainer
Practical intelligence in all the areas of life, be it financial, commercial, technical, mechanical, procedural, are abundant in our world. Yet humanity’s greatest problems have not lessened. On the contrary, we can safely say they have increased exponentially. Why?
Succinctly put, it is due to a shortage of Emotional Intelligence. Emotional Intelligence is what makes us better workers, lovers, friends and citizens. While we make linguistic, mathematical, scientific, biological and many other subjects part of our scholastic curriculum, sadly we are rarely taught to nurture our Emotional Intelligence. By neglecting it, we as a society, pay a heavy price in various ways.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is the quality that helps us confront any adversity with patience, insight and imagination, especially in relationships. It is a specific type of intelligence which often does not enjoy the prestige it deserves. While Intelligence Quotient or IQ measures our cognitive and intellectual abilities, there are several situations where extremely smart people with strong IQ scores make a mess of their personal lives. There are cases of extremely rich and successful people feeling restless and unfulfilled. There are people who are quite successful and powerful, yet their real life problem-solving skills and tolerance levels are quite disappointing.
The importance of Emotional Intelligence (also called Emotional Quotient or EQ) is more pronounced than IQ. A person with a low EQ – however successful they may be in their career – has a personality that is flawed and often abrasive. They fail to understand what really may have triggered a person’s behaviour or reaction. For example, a person lacking in EI may not be able to identify a violent outburst from someone as an actual cry for help. On the flip side, an overtly happy person may actually be hiding an underlying sorrow that may be affecting their psyche.
A person with high EQ is more adept at understanding fundamental conditions. Hatred many a time may mask love, and anger may be the face of extreme sadness. An emotionally intelligent person can pick up the signs and correctly read superficial outbursts to resolve issues – be it his own or others. EI also helps people deal with rejections and failure and powers their resilience to bounce back time and again, thereby leading them to success. It was once said, “Never let success get to your head; never let failure get to your heart”. This is a trademark of an emotionally intelligent person.
Is Emotional Intelligence inborn? Or is it a skill to be learnt?
Emotional Intelligence, like IQ, is inborn. The degree varies depending on multiple factors, including environmental conditioning. There are ways to take control of one’s emotions, and these can be learned. It is a set of skills that can be acquired and thereafter improved with practice. Parents can model EI for their children. Their responses to challenging situations at home equips a child with tips and tricks to implement in similar circumstances. Since it is basically the ability to identify and handle our emotions, as well as the emotions of others, developing or honing this skill will help people interpret themselves and others.
Education for Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence is an in-born skillset that varies in degree. Similar to IQ, EQ can also be nurtured externally. While the family plays a role in moulding the EQ or EI of a child at home, it is extremely important, more than ever today, for educational institutions to integrate a child’s social and emotional development with cognitive development. This has been reiterated many a times by June Auton, founder of the Human Values Foundation, England.
Are EI lessons for kids alone?
Is education for children alone? Not really. The same goes for EI too. It’s never too early or too late to upgrade your emotional intelligence. It’s a lesson that one needs to learn and improvise upon throughout life to manage surprises that come at various turns.
The environment one lives in is a great teacher to polish one’s EI skillset. While the television, internet and books can assist one in learning this skill, it can also prove dangerous at times considering cases of violent thinking and action wrapped in a goat’s skin that find their way into these media. Instead of elucidating on EI via constructive representation, ideas and ideologies may, at times, be downright contrary to what should be portrayed. This is a direct result of ‘intelligence’ in all areas sans Emotional Intelligence.
Here is where educational institutions can fill the gap and provide the right direction to students at a young and impressionable age. Today’s fast-paced and unrelenting environment has created challenging factors that the young generation is dealing with without proper guidance. Their age and consequential lack of experience make them soft targets. EI can be a trusted and important ally.
EI can equip them to counter the effects of society and the larger world with confidence. The world needs this now, more than ever.
Expertise in all forms of intelligence has helped man take giant strides in almost all fields. However, a sounder, healthier and wiser future for the human race is largely dependent on building the capacity of EI globally. We need a future workforce that is more prepared to tackle the emotional upheavals that come well packaged with the increasingly competitive and globalised world.
Leaders, educators, politicians and business professionals – all need to have a high level of EQ to meet competitive expectations.
Excellent tools for this type of education are our established centres of learning – our schools and colleges. They are ideal for overcoming emotional challenges and providing opportunities in the education of EI. After all, personal happiness, success in relationships, career and achieving personal goals are equally dependent on both EQ and IQ.
EQ-IQ vs. Stress
Being academically smart and being people smart together results in shaping an individual into a well-rounded human being, ready to find a place in this ever-changing and constantly evolving world. It is imperative to understand that there is a big difference in the knowing of something and the application of it. Learning about EI and applying it to one’s life are two different things. Stress can be a big deterring factor, and it can override our best intentions.
Schools and colleges can play an institutional role in powering students with the required skills to beat stress from the word go. Yoga and spiritual instructions can help one manage stress effectively and boost EI.
Five elements of Emotional Intelligence
Emotionally stunted people are those who are stuck in their negative emotions and are unable to move on in life. They need to see life clearly and accurately for what it is and to deal with what it throws up.
Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist who propounds Emotional Intelligence states that there are five key elements to it:
- Self-awareness
- Self-regulation
- Motivation
- Empathy
- Social skills
A March 2016 study conducted by the World Economic Forum called New Vision for Education: Fostering Social and Emotional Learning through Technology, stated that by 2020, creativity, people management and emotional intelligence will be among the top ten skills required. Schools and colleges have to step up to the challenge. Parents and educators alike need to work with their protégés to develop their EQ.
This is even more of a challenge considering the pressures of today’s fast-paced world that parents need to manage as well. This definitely tilts the balance more towards educational institutions to play a greater role in helping children understand and handle human emotions. A school that integrates and imparts a strong program on EI, shows evidence of its commitment to build a stronger world. Its students grow and emerge as strong and confident individuals who accept responsibility for their behaviour and know what corrective measures to take to exploit their own potential. And that, my dear friend, is the human force that will make this world a great place to live in.
With a doctorate in Sound and Music therapies and as the founder of MERT (Music and Emotion Release Therapies), I use Sound and Music Therapies to help my clients and patients to shed off their emotional burdens, environmental conditionings, social masks and disempowering beliefs which in turn empowers them to be more confident, empathetic, loving and be in their powers.
The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in the article belong solely to the author, and not necessarily reflect the views, thoughts, and opinions of EducationWorld.
Also read: Emotional Intelligence helps reap benefits in productivity and success
