My pre-teen daughter has been feeling upset about her physical attributes lately. How do I explain to her that these bodily changes are normal during puberty?
— Mallika Velan, Coimbatore
All teenage children — male and female — undergo physical and psychological changes during puberty. You could talk her through the process and also show old photographs of yourself and friends during your preteen and teen years. This will help her accept and prepare for adolescence. Most importantly, you need to counsel her to be well-groomed, eat right and healthy, exercise and remain physically fit. Avoid discussions about physical beauty. Instead encourage her to focus on academics and extracurricular activities which build confidence and life skills.
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Is it right to interfere in children’s career decisions? My 17-year-old daughter wants to pursue fashion design but my in-laws insist she studies science. How can I resolve this conflict?
— Amita Patel, Ahmedabad
Not many decades ago, career options were few and limited to science and engineering. Your in-laws, though well-intentioned, need to be educated that the careers and jobs market has diversified and exploded in the 21st century. Sit them down and explain career opportunities in fashion design as also the many success stories. Your daughter is at a crucial stage in her life and needs all support and encouragement to make a well-informed career choice.
My son’s eyesight has deteriorated over the past year because of time spent on gadgets for academics and digital entertainment. Please advise how to restrict his digital screen time.
— Ramesh Raj, Hyderabad
It’s important to protect children’s eyes. You could install a screen guard or UV protect glass on all digital gadgets he uses. Limit screen time by setting clear rules on gadgets access and usage. It’s important for parents to be clear on how much screen time is permitted inclusive of online studies, entertainment, TV etc. Also include foods rich in vitamins and minerals in her daily diet.
I missed eight years of my daughter’s childhood because I was busy completing my Ph D thesis. There is a void in our relationship, how do I fill it?
— Shilpa Vineet, Mumbai
Time lost is time lost, so don’t fret about it. You need to put in extra efforts now to bond with her. It’s never too late to start. Spend one-on-one quality time with her. Take her on holidays, go for long drives, engage in outdoor activities, etc. During these moments, talk about why you chose your career and how fulfilling the experience has been. Make a beginning now, nothing is lost. Don’t feel guilty and focus on building a holistic relationship with your daughter.
Dr. Pallavi Rao Chaturvedi
(Dr. Pallavi Rao Chaturvedi is a parenting coach, founder – Get Set Parent, and vice-president, Early Childhood Association of India)
