Managing bedtime tantrums

It is 9 p.m and Roopa Malhotra’s nerves are frazzled after a long day as she tries unsuccessfully to get her three-year-old daughter to sleep. The Bangalore-based homemaker’s daughter Anju refuses to sleep and is soon bawling from exhaustion. Baby’s bedtime tantrums has become a nightmare for the Malhotra household.  Preschool children in the three-five-year age group need 11-13 hours of sleep per day. Inadequate sleep in young children results in poor growth and fatigue which makes them vulnerable to viral and other infections. Why children fight sleep  Children may be reluctant to sleep for any one or more of the following reasons: » They may be overtired or not tired enough » Don’t want to leave the scene of excitement  » It’s a form of rebellion to assert independence » Anxiety and fear of sleeping alone » Lack of self-soothing skills or may not know how to manage boredom » Emotional deprivation. Toddlers respond better at bedtime if parents are available physically and emotionally during the day and at bedtime. If parents are busy watching television or entertaining guests at bedtime, children may experience neglect and try to draw attention by throwing a tantrum. “Sometimes, bedtime tantrums are also a sign of physical discomfort or not having had a sufficient dinner,” says Purnima Gupta, a well-known Ahmedabad-based clinical psychologist.  Managing bedtime tantrums Here are some suggestions for making bedtime a calming experience for children: Set a bedtime routine  Ensure that your child sleeps and wakes up at the same time during the school term and holidays. Get her to put her toys away, give her a warm bath, get her to brush her teeth, wear her pajamas and settle down to listen to a bedtime story. A routine signals her mind and body that it’s time to wind down.  A 2017 study published in Sleep Medicine Reviews titled ‘Benefits of a bedtime routine in young children: Sleep, development, and beyond’ says that nightly bedtime routines promote deep sleep as well as overall development and well-being in early childhood. The recommended bedtime routine includes activities in the area of nutrition (a warm glass of milk), hygiene (bathing, oral care), communication (reading, singing lullabies) and physical contact (massage, cuddling and rocking). “Since such routines embody nurturing care, they promote language development, literacy, child emotional and behavioural regulation, parent-child attachment and improved family functioning,” says the study.  Give your child a choice A probable reason why young children don’t fall asleep easily is because they want to be in control. So, let your child be in control in some ways. Let her choose what night dress to wear or pick the stuffed animal she will cuddle in her bed. Get her to choose the story you read to her. This will place her in a good mood. Make bedtime positive by letting the routine include what your child enjoys, whether it’s a tummy rub, a favourite book or splashing in the bath. Ensure she is physically ready for bed  Children sleep well…