After the pandemic third wave, my 12-year-old daughter washes her hands every 30 minutes. Is she suffering from an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)?
— Joby Thomas, Trivandrum
During the dreaded Covid-19 pandemic, which has infected over 43 million countrywide, there was heightened fear and anxiety about contracting the virus and parents went all out to propagate the importance of masking and hands-washing. My advice is don’t pay too much attention to her repeated hands-washing. Children observe their parents closely. If they observe that parents, teachers and others adults are relaxed and less fearful about the pandemic, they will calm down. Secondly, distraction is important. Introduce her to sports and games so that she is busy. But if the OCD worsens, consult a medical practitioner.
My 11-year-old son used to be very physically active and an extrovert. Post the pandemic lockdowns he has become shy and reticent. How do we encourage him to socialise again?
— Brinda Pavan, Bangalore
During pre-teen and teen years, it’s not unusual for male children to become asocial and aloof. Unfortunately the pandemic lockdowns and prolonged closure of schools have made it worse, resulting in many children losing their socialisation skills. Give him time and space to relearn socialisaton norms. Don’t force and push him into social situations. Adolescence is a transitional phase; he will grow out of his non-communicative phase soon and develop into a confident young adult.
Some of my daughter’s friends have told her that fair is beautiful. My 13-year-old is dark-skinned and is constantly trying beauty packs to lighten her complexion. How do I make her understand that dark is also beautiful?
— Seema Nambiar, Chennai
The obsession with skin fairness is not new in our country. Many dark-skinned girl children and women suffer taunts and rude comments as well as societal discrimination. I suggest that you discuss success stories of dark-skinned celebrities who are at the top of their careers with her. Teach her to be well groomed, physically fit and speak confidently. This will build her self-confidence and esteem. If the discussion about fair is beautiful is coming out school, you need to inform her teacher so that this myth can be discussed in class as well.
My nine-year-old son has suddenly stopped sharing his toys with his younger brother and friends. How do I make him mend his ways?
— Minaha Somu, Mumbai
A nine-year-old has a fairly developed sense of self-identity and ownership. So forcing him to share what he doesn’t want to might be difficult. He will learn on his own in school that if he doesn’t share things with his peers, he will soon lose friends and suffer alienation. His peer group will identify him as a selfish uncaring individual. I suggest you discuss the values of generosity, gratitude and sharing with him. Develop sensitivity and empathy in him by encouraging him to help the under-privileged.
(Dr. Pallavi Rao Chaturvedi is a parenting coach, founder – Get Set Parent, and vice-president, Early Childhood Association of India)
