My son is seven years old. When the lights are off, he is scared of ghosts. We have tried reassuring him but he is still petrified. We use a nightlight to reassure him. How can we help him overcome his fear of the dark?
— Deepa Jeetu, Delhi
* It’s essential to acknowledge your son’s fear and let him know that it’s okay to feel scared.
* Have a conversation about ghosts and explain that they’re not real. Use age-appropriate and comforting language to reassure him.
* Support him to confront his fear by gradually reducing reliance on the nightlight. Start by dimming the light a little every night until he feels comfortable in the dark.
Moreover, to prepare your children to face challenges and situations, I strongly recommend:
• Let your son know that you’re there for him and that he can always come to you with his fears and troubles.
• Establish a predictable routine which will give him a sense of stability and security.
• If your son’s fears persist and significantly affect daily lives, consider consulting a paediatrician or child psychologist for professional guidance and support. Remember, patience, understanding, and love are key to enabling children to navigate and overcome their fears and insecurities.
My five-year-old son cries inconsolably whenever I drop him to his karate class. After some time, he is ok. Please advise.
— Simi Prajjun, Hyderabad
You need to support him to overcome his fears. Here are some suggestions.
• Discuss with him if he has any concerns regarding the karate class. Ask open-ended questions to understand why he’s upset.
• Tell him that it’s normal to feel scared or sad initially, but he’ll enjoy once he begins the class. Reinforce positive aspects of karate and the benefits he’ll gain from attending classes.
• You need to gradually expose him to the environment and activities of the karate class outside of class time. This will make him more comfortable with the setting and routine.
My daughter is an extrovert and speaks easily with strangers. I don’t think it’s safe. I also think her super-friendly behaviour is a camouflage for her insecurity. How do I explain to her that it’s not safe to mingle with strangers?
— Revati Kumar, Chennai
Start by having age-appropriate conversations with your daughter about personal safety. Teach her about personal boundaries and whom to trust.
It’s also important that you monitor her interactions with strangers and gently guide her towards appropriate social behaviour and precautions. Moreover, boost her self-confidence and self-esteem so she doesn’t seek validation from strangers. Encourage her to develop strong relationships within family and close friends.
(Dr. Mazher Ali is consultant, psychiatry, CARE Hospitals, Hyderabad)
