Parental Counsel

Ask your 1to1help.net counsellors1to1Help.net CounsellorsI am worried about my nine-year-old son watching too much television and missing out on more creative pursuits like reading and sports. How do I wean him off this habit? Meghana Malhotra, JaipurFirst and foremost, you need to realise that this problem of children spending far too much time before the telly is a common concern of thousands of parents. However the good news is that children can be motivated to engage in more productive pursuits like reading, sports and extra-curricular activities.Here are some suggestions to limit and control your son‚s passion for the idiot box in a friendly and co-operative way.‚ Discuss the reasons why you want him to limit telly viewing. Ask his opinion about the benefits and ill effects of television‚ Go through the TV guide with him and mark the programmes everyone in the family favours. Turn off the set as soon as the chosen programme is over‚ Don‚t leave the telly on all day, especially if no one is watching. Otherwise it may become omnipresent‚ Negotiate the maximum amount of time that your son can watch television, each day or each week‚ Don‚t allow unsupervised access to television‚ You could impose logical consequences when your child violates agreed rules; ban television for a specified period of time‚ Encourage your child to play badminton, tennis, cricket or any other sport in which he is interested‚ Help him to become a member of a library and encourage him to spend some of his free time reading. You could also read to himGenerally speaking it‚s also useful to plan family activities which don‚t involve television. Eat meals together (with the television switched off); schedule one or two nights for family games like monopoly, pictionary etc; invest in toys, games and books; encourage your son to invite his friends over and arrange games and other activities for them. All this will help him become aware that there‚s more to life than television. My five-year-old son has been diagnosed with ADHD. How can I help him to cope with this problem? Ruchi Oberoi, DelhiAttention deficit hyperactivity disorder (APHD), once known as hyperkynesis or minimal brain dysfunction, is one of the most common mental disorders among children. These days it is regarded a medical syndrome rather than a disease.Characterised by a given collection of symptoms centred around short attention span and hyperactivity, ADHD generally manifests itself during primary school years and upto the age of seven, though in some instances it could prolong into adolescence. Though the symptoms become less severe in late teenage and early adulthood, people never quite ‚Ëœoutgrow‚ ADHD because of the developmental nature of the syndrome. And though it is widely prevalent and affects 3-5 percent of the global child population, the syndrome is usually mis-diagnosed and disregarded.Once your child has been diagnosed with ADHD, apart from prescribed medicines and therapy sessions, it‚s important that he should be provided with adequate support and encouragement. You should bear in mind the following points while dealing with ADHD children: ‚ Apply the immediate consequences rule. ADHD children require more immediate and frequent feedback or reports of consequences of their behaviour and activity compared to normal children. This feedback must be clear, specific and occur as close in time after (mis)behaviour that is the target of change. This will help correct aberrant behaviour and develop positive traits in ADHD children‚ Feedback can be in the form of praise or compliments for positive behaviour. It can also be physical affection or reward, such as extra privileges or an ice cream treat‚ A child with ADHD should not be segregated. A parent or teacher who realises this and supports the child instead of faulting him has an excellent chance of “making it”. The best advice adults (teachers, parents, counsellors) can impart to an ADHD child is, “YOU CAN DO IT”‚ Support from schools, support groups, networks and mental health agencies is available. Parents who avail their help succeed better with ADHD children‚ Mentors and confidants help. Children with ADHD who have a variety of supportive adults in their lives (teachers, grandparents, neighbours, relatives) are more likely to succeed and adjust. They will also be less prone to depression‚ Parents can develop skills to manage and mentor ADHD children by reading, watching videotapes and attending classes ‚ Families need to be flexible and restructure the environment to meet the needs of such children. Rigid or unrealistic expectations will hamper the child‚s progressThe most important thing to remember is that children with ADHD can succeed perfectly at home, in school and in the outside world. They can manage their difficulties and grow into successful adults and make positive contributions to society. Our duty as parents, professionals and educators is to accept, love and understand them and find ways to help them succeed. (Archana Bisht, Antara Sen & Karuna Baskar are counsellors at 1to1help.net, Bangalore. www.1to1help.net)