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Six reasons why your child may be ‘lazy’

ParentsWorld February 2024 | Middle Years Parents World

Children’s perceived laziness has underlying causes ranging from the physical to psychological: Aruna Raghuram “Roshan is so lazy. He sits doing nothing once he is back from school.” “Aarthi just doesn’t want to do her homework. She is so lazy.” “Geeta hates to play any sports. She is so lazy.” “Aryan keeps his room so untidy. He is so lazy.” Four children, but the same label — ‘lazy’ — a harsh, judgmental word that subjects a child to painful criticism from parents, extended family and friends, and peers. Parents, very often, label their child lazy because she is not doing well academically, not eager to play with friends, uninterested in extracurricular activities, or is messy and disorganised. But children’s perceived laziness has underlying causes ranging from the physical to psychological. It’s important for parents to identify the hidden cause of their child’s seeming laziness and address it. Here are six reasons why your child may seem to be lazy. Cognitive problems Many children labelled lazy are dealing with unidentified learning disabilities. A study conducted by the Queensland University of Technology, Australia titled ‘Just Try Harder and You Will Shine: A Study of 20 Lazy Children’ found that 17 of the 20 examined children had a range of learning disabilities (LDs). LDs impact the ability of a child to read, write or do math. Children with LDs such as dyslexia, Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or developmental disorders such as autism, are often labelled as lazy before they are diagnosed. “I get parents all the time complaining their child is lazy. On closer evaluation it turns out that the child has a special need. Parents need to be educated and encouraged to understand and address the root cause of children’s laziness,” says Lakshmi Krishnakumar, psychologist and founder-director of Chennai-based Sankalp — the Open School, ranked India’s #1 special needs school in the EducationWorld India School Rankings 2023-24. According to Krishnakumar perceived laziness can stem from several factors. “These include physical and cognitive development disorders, lack of motivation, and difficulty in focusing on assignments, being overwhelmed by them, inability to plan, organise, and execute tasks.” Lack of competence Children want to accomplish tasks and bask in the encouragement and praise they receive when they succeed. But sometimes it’s lack of a skill or competence that makes children hesitant to attempt a task. “Children are inherently curious and physically active. They are not inherently lazy. A prime reason why they may not attempt a task is because they lack the confidence to execute it. A child would prefer to be labelled lazy rather than incompetent. For instance, a child may shy away from doing a maths assignment because she doesn’t know how to do it. Whenever a child seems lazy there is always some underlying cause,” says Dr. Debmita Dutta, a Bengaluru-based medical practitioner and parenting consultant who has written seven books on parenting. Parenting style Three styles of parenting — permissive, uninvolved and authoritarian — prompt disinterest. “In the permissive style a child

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