I live in a joint family. I have strict rules for my children such as limiting junk food consumption to once a week. But their cousins continually munch on junk food. There are many other such conflicts. How can I resolve them?
— Anonymous, Chennai
Having different sets of rules for children living under one roof is confusing and frustrating for children and parents. I recommend that all parents sit together, deliberate and set common rules for all children on important issues such as limiting junk food intake, electronic screen time, use of bad language etc. However, when it pertains to more specific issues such as dressing preferences and homework time, parents can make individualised decisions to suit their child’s needs. In this way, there will be some common rules with parents also enjoying flexibility to lay down the law on specific issues.
My six-year-old listens carefully and understands when people talk with him, but he does not show any interest in replying to them unless prodded. How can I help him get over his diffidence?
— Beena Mathew, Bengaluru
Many young children experience a phase of non-communication. It is important to understand why he doesn’t respond. Is it because he is shy? Or lacks confidence in speaking to people other than family members? Or doesn’t have the required communication and language skills? Once you identify the root cause of his non-communication, you can address it accordingly.
Home is the first practice ground for children to develop communication skills and social confidence. Ensure you encourage conversations on various subjects and allow him time and space to express his thoughts. Also, consider enrolling your child in a sport or extra-curricular activity to boost his socialisation skills. With primary schools closed for almost two years because of the Covid-19 pandemic, many children have been deprived of socialisation opportunities. Be patient and give him time and space to develop inter-personal communication skills.
My children just about started attending in-person classes at school, and there is fear of the Omicron variant triggering a third wave. My family is pressurising me to opt for online school as they fear they will contract the Coronavirus. How do I convince my in-laws and parents that on-campus school is important for their overall development?
— Frustrated mom, Kochi
With the Covid-19 virus constantly mutating and children’s vaccination not yet begun, in the near future, there will be a lot of uncertainty and ambiguity and we have to make short-term decisions based on the local reality. Analyse the rate of Covid-19 infection cases in your city, government advisories, school Covid-19 safety SOPs, before making the decision to send children back to school. Some families have allowed children to resume normal school while others prefer to continue with online school. You will need to make an informed decision which works best for your children and family.
(Dr. Pallavi Rao Chaturvedi is an educationist, parenting coach and founder of Get Set Parent with Pallavi)
