Why children lie

My ten-year old daughter has started to tell lies. We have been trying to get her out of this habit but it doesn’t seem to be working. How do we make her understand that it’s wrong to lie?

— Priyanka Varma, Mumbai

It’s not unusual for young children to lie. There could be many reasons your daughter is avoiding telling the truth. Among them:

She is scared or insecure of the outcomes of telling the truth and feels the lie will protect her
She thinks it’s harmless to lie and mislead parents — it’s a harmless prank
She could be exaggerating or hyping information

Talk to her to understand why she fears telling you the truth. Reassure her that there will be no repercussions. Also explain the importance of conveying factual information and not misleading people. If you are able to win her trust consistently, she will feel confident to speak the truth.

My 14-year-old daughter has a speech problem and doesn’t mingle with peers of her age. She is much more comfortable interacting with younger children. I want her to make friends in her age group.

— Siri Reddy, Hyderabad

The past two years of intermittent pandemic lockdowns and prolonged school closures have not been kind to children. Most of them have lost out on developing vital socialisation and communication skills because of lack of peer-to-peer interaction. Now that schools have reopened, request her teachers to provide her special opportunities to express herself. I would also recommend consulting a speech therapist. The teen years are socially difficult, so provide full support, guidance and encouragement.

Since online schooling started two years ago, my 11-year-old-son has lost interest in studies and his exam grades have also dropped. Earlier, he used to score 70-80 percent in offline school. Please help.

— Fiona Morris, Goa

Prolonged school closures and the switch to online learning have resulted in children suffering huge learning loss. Screen fatigue, lack of human interaction and monotony of impersonal one-way learning have contributed to children losing interest in studies. Now that normative in-person schooling has resumed, a lot will fall into place over time. School managements and teachers are putting in extraordinary efforts to make up for children’s learning loss. Trust the process. Children are very resilient and in a few months, he will readjust to in-person schooling. It will also help if he actively participates in extra-curricular activities in school.

Is homeschooling a good option for working parents? My daughter is nine years old. Please advise.

— Meena Nair, Trivandrum

Schools provide more than just academic education. They provide tutoring and mentorship of teachers, peer-to-peer learning, teach children independence and socialisation skills. Personally, I believe children lose by way of learning experientially and developing into well-rounded individuals if they don’t attend school. The pandemic has shown us the downsides of home-based learning. Home-schooling is a better option in highly developed countries with enabling public infrastructure and individualised learning options. But in India, it’s likely to be difficult for parents to balance homeschooling with full-time work.